


Purple Rain

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Phil is oblivious, Recovery, Swearing, Temporarily Unrequited Love, dan is sad, space analogies, tags will update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-09-07 07:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8788150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan is in love with his roommate and writes things about him





	1. Not Mine

His smile doesn't look like it could make flowers grow. When he grins he could construct nebulas and with a look he could build stars. His touch makes it seem like he could sprout trees simply by touching the ground. His eyes hold the depth of space itself and his laugh is music. He is my world. But I am not his.


	2. Words Left Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But the words never left his mouth

I want you in the most innocent sense of the phrase. I want your your messy hair and uncontrolled laughter. I want your sleepy smiles and tight hugs. I want your hand to hold and your forehead to kiss. I want warm cuddles and late night conversations. I am homesick, and you are my home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few chapters done already, as I've had this idea for a while. Sorry they're so short


	3. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's contimplations on being in love

It's it weird how one day you wake up and everything is different? Not extremely different, but things are more colorful, the world is more peaceful, it's easier to find the beauty in things. And you don't know why until you see them. And it's like, "Shit. I'm in love,". You want to see them when you're sad, you want to see them when you're happy, you want to share every emotion with them and hear about all their emotions. Suddenly you realize this person is everything you need. 

And it's scary. Suddenly they hold so much power over your happiness, and might not even know. He doesn't know. 

He can't know.


	4. Stucco Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan likes to associate things with colors

It's hard to explain what it's like to hold the person you love. It's easier to describe in colors and sounds. I've always found it odd that people associate red with love. Red,to me, is angry and rough and harsh. But blue, blue is love. There are innocent, light loves that seem like a robin's egg, deep and passionate loves like the depths of the sea; and everything in between is different but equally beautiful, for have you ever seen an ugly shade of blue?

Holding who you love is lilac. It's soft and gentle. Their hands feel like the color of stucco buildings and their voice sounds like purple rain. Their smile is a pastel orange with slow piano in the background, and if they kiss you.... Well I don't know. He hasn't.


	5. Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't have you

Falling for someone you can't have is hell. Every time you see them you find new reasons to love them, but you also find new reasons you can't have them. Sometimes you stare at them a bit too long, smile a bit to big, looking a bit to fondly. And for a while everyone notices but you, and when you realize you look at your friend like you want them as more then a friend you have to brush it off like its nothing. It's like trying to brush of a pile off dust the size of Mount Everest. You can do it, cause it's just dust, right? I have to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that happy with this one


	6. Satin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloth and kisses

Kissing someone you love is soft. No matter how smooth their lips are or how intense the kiss, it always feels smooth to me.  
I was crying. I forget why, probably a kids TV show to be honest. But then he came into my room and looked at me, and I saw it in his eyes. He looked at me like I was a treasure, like he wanted to protect me, and suddenly I was immobilized. Could he feel the same? Is it even possible? But then all of my doubts were squashed when he approached me and kissed a tear that was running down my cheek. And it was soft. He kissed the corner of my mouth, and it was soft. So were the next ones, on my lips, on my neck, on my hips. It was soft and purple and bright, and I've never felt anything better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if i'll write more chapters for this but who knows


	7. goodbye

His eyes weren't the color of the sky anymore, they were ice and stone. His voice wasn't soft, it was sandpaper against my soul. The first time, I didn't see it coming. He said he wouldn't do it again and I believed him. But the bruises grew in number and scars started to decorate my wrists. I couldn't be defined by him anymore. Freedom tastes like salt and dirt, and learning to trust again was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I have new hands to hold and new voices to patch up the holes in me. And I will be ok.


End file.
